The silence of abuse survivors is a common theme I have experienced in my own personal life and from what I noticed, in the world at large. I have read countless stories of those who’ve been abused trying to speak up about the cruelties done to them but were shamed, threatened and gaslighted. I want to explore some reasons as to why I believe abuse survivors are silenced from speaking out.
Control
If there’s anything to know about narcissistic people it’s that they desire to be in control at all times. This need for control pushes them to write a new narrative of how they treated you to others which is founded on lies. Despite what they put you through somehow the abuse you endured didn’t happen or wasn’t that bad which is gaslighting in its highest form. You are likely to feel utterly confused and doubtful about your own experience which is insane because you know deep down how bad this person treated you yet they use manipulation, smear campaigns and fear to shun your voice.
Lack of accountability and change
Narcissistic people don’t want to change. I repeat, narcissistic people do no want to change. They enjoy getting away with their abusive behaviors without any consequences further pulling them to cause harm to others and even themselves. Silencing victims from speaking out allows them to fly under the radar without taking any responsibility for how they harmed you. Having no one to confront them on their abusive behavior further enables them to be empowered or should I say, emboldened in their pursuit of lawlessness.
Fear of self being exposed.
If there’s anything narcissists want more than anything is to be revered and admonished. Their biggest fear is for their true broken self to be exposed. With this exposure follows partnerships being destroyed, opportunities denied and relationships with those they perceive as valuable challenged. Their very life and sense of self becomes threatened. They work very hard to keep up an image to the public; masquerading to be noble for all to see but a monster behind closed doors to those nearest to them. This is why it is so easy for them to manipulate others into believing that they are the victim who tried their best with you but you were the problem.
Inability to connect and empathize
We aren’t born with empathy. Empathy is taught by our caregivers giving us a sense of connection and humanity to those around us. Unfortunately for many narcissistic people empathy was denied to them in their most formative years which caused a deficient in compassion. The narcissist cannot understand the pain they caused another individual and even if they do, they simply do not care. Their desire for your silence and compliancy is really a mirror to their own souls. Broken individuals such as a narcissist have a hard time seeing themselves clearly therefore they will not be able to see you as a human worthy of respect and kindness.
So, if you have ever experienced being gaslit, smear campaigned, triangulated and discarded just know that these are all methods to keep you silent. The desired result is to make you believe that your voice does not matter and to prevent exposure of their abusive behavior. One thing to know is that God has not called you to stay silent about your abuse. He desires for you to have freedom, find healing with other survivors and to spread awareness. The more we speak out about narcissistic abuse the more power we have to warn others of potential danger and bring an end to this spiritual perversion.